Anyway, enough about the weather.
Many of you know my sister Krystal. She's very sweet and I love her dearly. But one of the areas in which we differ greatly is social skills. Krystal simply never learned who she wasn't supposed to talk to. I don't recall ever receiving lessons, but I've always known that there are some people with whom I'm not expected to be friends. Some people are older than I am, or interested in other things, or from a different social status. Sometimes it's just because we're in a public place and there are rules of etiquette about sitting down in someone's restaurant booth and striking up conversation.
Krystal somehow managed not to learn most of these rules. Within a few minutes of our arrival somewhere, she has met everyone and made friends with many of them. When her brothers come home from college, we depend on Krystal to tell us who the new person is in the next pew. She just doesn't seem to understand the social barriers that I've grown so comfortable with.
Jesting aside, I think Krystal is exponentially closer to Christ's position on this issue. I have gotten compliments about how friendly she is and I am regularly impressed by the bridges she builds. It's something that I've been working hard to attain, and I have no illusions about solving it soon. But one thing that I've been trying to do here is treat everyone well.
This isn't easy. For one thing, I get anxious when I'm sucked into a conversation that I haven't anticipated, especially when their English isn't very good and I have trouble making out what they're saying. And sometimes, I'm not the only one who's imagining a barrier in the relationship. It only gets worse when they ask for money and I know giving it to them isn't a good idea (for a number of reasons).
But I'm trying. I try to smile and say hello to everyone I pass who will look at me. Whether they're in a suit or they're barefoot and surreptitiously looking for food in the garbage can. One beggar took a shine to me quite early on. Whenever he saw me, he would start laughing and catch up to me and hold out his hand for change. He's taller than me, but he's skinny and his pants end far above his bare feet. Most of his teeth are gone and his words come out with a spray of saliva (not that he speaks English anyway). There's likely a history of drug and alcohol abuse there.
Needless to say, I was terrified the first few times I encountered him. I sped up and ignored him when I could. But finally, I managed to work up the courage to shake his hand. I think he was pretty surprised, as was the person I was walking with. As was pointed out to me, his hand was anything but sanitary and I could smell him for a while.
But since then, I've been trying to greet him whenever I see him, even if I see him first. It's still uncomfortable, but I'm doing as well as I can. Someday, maybe I'll be as good as my little sister.
-Ben
P.S. Some of you may be concerned about my safety. That is probably wise, but I have had no problems with safety at all. Especially in daylight, there are always other people around. One advantage of being a 21-year-old man is that I'm not overly vulnerable. The only negatives I've experienced are when people see a white guy and expect he'll hand out money, whether they need it or not. But I am in God's hand, and I trust that will be enough.
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